Wednesday 13th January 2010

Never giving up or stopping my campaign

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I miss my children so much. Anyone how thinks this is right is as evil as they (The UK Family Courts) are. When will they listen? I miss you guys. This is not what I want for you both.

Is this in the best interest of the child? REALLY!!!!

Fact.

1). 4 million children living without a father in the UK.

2). In the UK Fathers have no rights to see their children after separation.

3).

Direct Quotes

1). For some reason everyone was against my DAD and I have no idea why.

2). My mum stopped me seeing my DAD

3).  I felt like a part of me was missing.

4). I want to live with my DAD but they didn’t listen to me once.

5). No one ever listened to anything I said.

6). Over 7 years I was told my DAD was evil.

7). I’m not allowed to see my brothers.

8). He’s my DAD and I love him.

9). I felt invisable

10). It angers me to know I was made to believe my DAD was evil for so long.

11). If you are not 15 or older you are not going to be listened too.

12). If I just died everything would be so much easier so much happier.

13). There was nothing I could do to stop what was happening to me and my DAD.

14). The law has to be changed. Children should be allowed to live with both parents. I miss my DAD so much.

Is this really what we should be doing to our kids. Any woman or man for that case who thinks this is right, is inhuman. Any government that condones this is not working for the people or the best interest of the people but are evil to their core.


Yes, a lot has happened since my last post. My last post was the 11th September 2011 and we had just decided on a change of plan and return to Europe, head towards Italy where we could fly to Australia in the middle of November. Unfortunately, I received news from home that my mother had been taken ill and to cut a long story short I ended up flying back to the UK after following her progress for a week over the internet using messages from Skype. Finally, I decided that I was too difficult to stay away and have to worry about her and I flew home. I spent 14 days at home in the UK and after seeing her improve and return home under the care of my step father I decided to resume my travels.

During the stay in the UK my sister arrived from Australia for the same reasons I had flown home. It was fantastic to see her again after what must have been 11 years. She met me Leek where I was staying with my son and within 10 minutes it was just like she never left. Funny how that works with family. You can be apart for years and as soon as you meet again, it is like they never left. This is what it will be like with my two children S & L when they finally get home.

Anyway, from then I decided on a change of plan once more and so I flew to Brasil via Holland, before setting off to my stay with the rest of my family in Australia as planned.

Oh, and yes the biking has been shelved for a while, at least until after the Aussie trip. On arrival in Amsterdam I had some time to kill and so a trip into the city is a must. It’s been many years since my last trip to Holland. In fact the last time was playing rugby for the Michelin Tyre Company when I was 16 years old. Amsterdam is a lovely city with it’s canals and tourist attractions. So liberally minded there.

From there I arrive in Sao Paulo, Brasil for just a week before my flight to Australia to settle some technicalities concerning my forthcoming marriage to Rose. Whilst in London it was also an opportunity to visit the Brasilian Embassy in Oxford Street to  sort out my British details for the same, and to visit our franchise headquarters for our English language business.

So, I’m sitting here in Caloundra, Queensland, by the pool on another hot morning listening to the local wildlife whilst typing and my blog up to date. Thinking about the last few months and all the places I have been too and my two children back in the UK.

One thing, it doesn’t matter how you fill your time, whether it be sitting at home in the UK watching the bad weather take a grip or travelling around the world, the thoughts of my two children S & L never leave the front of my mind. It’s like nothing else matters regardless of how beautiful or wonderful your time, they are there in your mind, constantly thinking about them.

The plan now is to spend the rest of the year here in Australia seeing as much as I can and experiencing this beautiful country. I have two brothers and two sisters here and this is actually my 4th visit. Having spent my childhood here until leaving for England when I was 15 years old so I have a lot of memories here. My plan is to retrace as much as possible. Already I have been to my old school, visited our old house and indeed had a chat with the current occupier. It turns out that our old house is in fact now the oldest traditional Queensland house in Buderim. The current occupier was only too pleased to stand and chat and she seemed quite proud that the house was still standing after all these years. it’s nearly 40 years since I lived there and most of the houses around there now either were not there then or are more modern built houses. I also managed to visit my old school, Buderim State School and nothing had changed including the cricket field where I used to play as a kid. Buderim is in Queensland and has always been famous for it’s ginger growing and processing factory. As a child I have one of those immovable memories of the smell of the ginger. It’s funny how everyone of us has certain memories that trigger at certain times.

I’ve been here for just over a week now and every day has been well over the 30 degrees mark, in fact whilst swimming in the surf last week on Kings beach, the lifeguard station was stating 37 degrees on the scrolling display. Although I wasn’t completely white when I arrived it hasn’t taken long to get very very brown. You do have to be careful here as the sun is extremely powerful and the Aussies have a serious skin cancer problem, so most people except crazy poms like me stay out of it. Although I am constantly plastered in factor 30 and wearing a hat. But somehow it seems to get though.

The idea now is that I will spend Christmas here in Australia and then travel back to Brasil around the middle of January stopping off in Chile which should be interesting. I was calculating my air-miles last week and realized that since November last year (2010) I have actually taken 39 flights. Calculating the actual miles was no easy job.

I am updating my Facebook on a daily basis and so if you are even vaguely interested in my blog or issues concerning parental alienation and the fight of fathers to have meaningful contact with their children then please do visit my Facebook pages and request friendship. I rarely turn anyone down.

Image


One day we will be together.

A fatherless Christmas.

Christmas 2010 will be the last. 


Free Speech!! "I despise what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it" Quotation "Voltaire" Yes this declaration, attributed to Voltaire, encapsulates that free speech is worth defending vigorously even when you hate what is being said. Our committment to free speech involves protecting the speech you don't want to hear as well as the speech you do want to hear, otherwise it is not free speech. This principle is at the heart of democracy, … Read More

via Politics, Religion & Society


“I despise what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it”

Quotation “Voltaire”

Yes this declaration, attributed to Voltaire, encapsulates that free speech is worth defending vigorously even when you hate what is being said. Our committment to free speech involves protecting the speech you don’t want to hear as well as the speech you do want to hear, otherwise it is not free speech. This principle is at the heart of democracy, a basic human right, and its protection is a mark of a civilised and tolerant society. 

Article 19 of the United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights and the First amendment to the US Constitution both explicitly recognise the need to protect free expression.

Then why are Family Courts in the UK so “SECRET”??  Why under the secret  guise of child protection are we expected to accept that a family court judge can prevent the reporting of or criticism of events that take place in a family court hearing?

It’s beyond me how they get away with it or why we  tolerate it without standing up for this basic right to freedom of speech.

Let me pose a question. Where is the abuse in this equation?

 A soldier is fatally injured in battle. His children and family are grieving at home and at some point receive counselling. Rightly so I hear you say. We hear about these tragic events every day on the news. Tragic, but the children are counselled.  In a family court an order is made that a father is not allowed to see or contact his children and only because a woman is allowed to practice “Parental Alienation” unchallenged and an unrecognised syndrome and practice here in the UK. The children don’t know where their father is or what happened to him. He just could not pick them up from school one day because of an order. The child gets no counselling, in fact the child was never told what happened to the father. The father is fighting tooth and nail to see his kids in the background, but his kids don’t know this. Where is the abuse?

I will tell you if you haven’t working this out yet. This is state sponsored, Family Court initiated child abuse. Child abuse put in place and condoned by UK Family Court Judges. 

On the 13th December 2010 I was summoned to Stoke on Trent County Court, an open county court I might add, so I can talk about this part of my nightmare. Although I’m sure it won’t do me any favors. Summoned to answer a charge of contempt. Contempt of court, because I was accused of breaking an order put in place in a family court but the hearing was heard in a county open court. Confused? yes so am 

I can’t discuss the goings on in the family court but I can discuss the contempt I faced in the open county court. Clear?

Anyway, I was accused of putting an article in a local newspaper about my family court matters (which I didn’t by the way) and I could prove it. However, that didn’t count for much in the eyes of the judge as he decided that even though I didn’t put it in the paper, I did acknowledge the article in my blog therefore I must be guilty of contempt. Yes I am still confused too. The eventual outcome was that I have been given 8 weeks suspended prison sentence for acknowledging the fact that an organisation wrote a story of my fight to contact my children, who I miss dearly, and they passed it onto the paper, without my knowledge I might add but because I read it and linked to it from my blog. I am guilty of contempt.

In other words you are guilty by association.

You have no control over what is being said, you distance yourself by asking them to remove it, you ask them to write to the court to explain that you had nothing to do with the article but still the judge finds you guilty of contempt because you agree with the story.  At this point I refer you back to my opening paragraph.

repeated.

“I despise what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it”

“Voltaire”

Yes this declaration, attributed to Voltaire, encapsulates that free speech is worth defending vigorously even when you hate what is being said. Our committment to free speech involves protecting the speech you don’t want to hear as well as the speech you don’t want to hear other wise it is not free speech. This principle is at the heart of democracy, a basic human right, and its protection is a mark of a civilised and tolerant society.

Article 19 of the United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights and the First amendment to the US Constitution both explicitly recognise the need to protect free expression.

At this point I will copy word for word the fundamental human right of free speech.

Universal Declaration Of  Human Rights.

“Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media and regardless of frontiers.

Article 19, Universal Declaration of Human Rights. UN 1948.

When we forget this fathers and let them get away with it, its all over.

Dedicated to my two children whom I miss so much and will never give up on. Even unto death I will fight for their right to see their loving father.

Merry Christmas.

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Father-Less Christmas

Read Full Story CLICK HERE

After a protest inBelfast and the gatecrashing of Cafcass management party inNewcastle, Rffj activists ramp up the action against a failing family justice system, this time targeting family courts in a lockout in Newton Aycliffe.  

Rffj spokesman Mike Kelly said “Thousands of children will wake up on Christmas morning and will face opening gifts in a fatherless household this year”

“They will be denied access to half of their family, cousins, uncles, aunties and paternal grandparents”

“Whilst you lift your glass of wine to toast prosperity in 2011 surrounded by your loving family, spare a thought for the countless children denied access to their fathers this year”

“Members tell us that they are waiting longer for family court proceedings, having Christmas holiday contact hearings put back until nearer Easter, having Cafcass reports delayed by 6 months or more”

“The family justice is system is falling apart to the detriment of our children’s happiness, and is in desperate need of radical reform”

“Newton Aycliffe family court staff will be reminded of that when they turn up for work this morning, as Rffj activists have chained up the front entrance”

“We call on the family justice review panel to recommend the legal presumption of shared parenting after separation where both parents are fit”.

“The protests will continue into 2011, too many suffer injustice in our secretive family courts”. 

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Today is day 331 without them. Can’t say who but they know who they are.

Family Court Hell “Read this book” To buy from Amazon CLICK HERE

Denied access to his three children after his divorce, Mark was jailed for standing outside his house to wave to them. It took ten years and 133 hearings before they were reunited. How CAN the Government insist cases like his are kept secret?

Every day there is some reminder of what Mark Harris calls ‘the lost years’.

It could be his daughter’s reference to a particular birthday party or a family holiday. It could be talk of exams sat, dentists visited or pop stars worshipped.  

Each time it happens, he feels a stab of regret. ‘I missed so much,’ he reveals, with understandable bitterness. ‘They took my daughter’s childhood, her formative years, from me. Lisa is 20 now. I didn’t see her between the ages of ten and 16. An awful lot happens in a child’s life in that time, and I missed it all.’

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-464132/Jailed-waving-daughter.html#ixzz181YTLeaz


Day 324 without the people I love most in the world!

So what are the risk factors to the children when one parent takes her or his grievencies out on the children by expressing those feelings about an ex-partner in front the children.  

During a separation or a divorce, there are a number of factors that can put you and your children at risk for parental alienation.  Early recognition of these factors is important so you can intervene and protect your relationship with your children.

  • Visits are withheld.

  • Children are frequently not returned on time (later than a half-hour).

  • A parent threatens to abduct the children.

  • Suggestions of sexual, physical, and/or mental abuse.

  • Alcohol or drug abuse.

  • A parent having a severe mental disorder.

  • A parent interferes with a reasonable number of phone calls.

  • Children begin refusing to visit.

This list is not intended to be a list of symptoms, these are risk factors that you should be aware of that can lead to alienation.   

Parental alienation varies in the degree of severity, as seen in the behaviors and attitudes of both the parents and the children. The severity can be of such little consequence as a parent occasionally calling the other parent a derogatory name; or it could be as overwhelming as the parent’s campaign of consciously destroying the children’s relationship with the other parent. Most children are able to brush off a parent’s off hand comment about the other parent that is made in frustration.
Steve Bradeley | Create Your Badge

On the other hand, children may not be able to resist a parent’s persistent campaign of hatred and alienation.Preventing or stopping alienation must begin with learning how to recognize the three types of alienators because the symptoms and strategies for combating each are different. Naive alienators are parents who are passive about the children’s relationship with the other parent but will occasionally do or say something to alienate. All parents will occasionally be naive alienators. Active alienators also know better than to alienate, but their intense hurt or anger causes them to impulsively lose control over their behavior or what they say. Later, they may feel very guilty about how they behaved. Obsessed alienators have a fervent cause, to destroy the targeted parent. Frequently a parent can be a blend between two types of alienators, usually a combination between the na•ve and active alienator. Rarely does the obsessed alienator have enough self-control or insight to blend with the other types.

 

  • Don’t give up on your children.

  • Keep your anger and hurt under control. Losing control only fuels the alienating parent.

  • Don’t retaliate.

  • With your attorney, be sure the court continues to support your parenting time. The only excuse for terminating parenting time is if there are allegations of abuse or threats to the children’s safety. If you are being falsely accused of abuse, cooperate with the investigation and insist on supervised visits rather than no visits.

  • Don’t stop going/trying to pick up your children for your parenting time. If the other parent refuses, keep showing up unless the court order says otherwise. We realize this can be painful. Also, to get hostile towards your ex in your children’s presence will only make matters worse for everyone.

  • Keep a log of your activities.

  • Focus on keeping your relationship with the children positive. Don’t pump your children for information or cause your own alienation.

  • Don’t wait to intervene when you start having problems. Many times problems with alienation will occur when you or your ex starts getting serious in a new relationship. If there is a problem, contact your attorney.

  • Get a court order requiring you and the other parent to get into family therapy. The therapists will need to determine if the child or children need deprograming. The therapist doing the deprograming needs to be a different therapist than the one working with the parents. The reason is to prevent problems with trust between the parent and therapist.

  • The Alienator and his or her supports (spouse and extended family) may need to be part of the therapy and be educated about alienation and their role in the problem. At this point, the therapist has to be a salesperson in order to engage them in trying to resolve the alienation. It is not uncommon for a new spouse and grandparent can destroy any progress that the parents make in therapy.

  • Monitor your own behavior so you don’t begin alienating. Know the symptoms.

  • If the problem continues, try understanding what the other parent is reacting to without you getting defensive. Then, if necessary, try to talk openly about what you are seeing and feeling. If the problem continues, the alienating parent may need to consider therapy.

  • Don’t violate court orders. There needs to be a court order supporting the family therapy and deprograming.

The court should have a mechanism, like a Guardian Ad Litem or court staff member to monitor the parent’s compliance to the court order. Courts must find sanctions for parents refusing to cooperate. One sanction that can be considered is to actually increase the parenting time the targeted parent has with the children. If the court decides to use this sanction, the alienating parent should understand this at the time he or she is being ordered into counseling and be told to comply with the parent time court order.

Dealing with an obsessed alienator can be one of the most difficult and painful experiences you will have because you will feel powerless and it can last for years. What is most important is that you don’t add to the problem by getting caught up in the alienating cycle. Remember prevention is a must because reversing parental alienation syndrome is near impossible. Most courts don’t have an effective mechanism to handle these cases.

To find out more about this subject read:-  http://www.divorcesource.com/info/alienation/obsessed.shtml


Read Full Story On RFFJ

“Six years ago, the day following St. Andrews Day, Dave Pyke et al scaled the Scottish Parliament building with an F4j banner, highlighting the injustice in our family courts, causing the exclusion of fathers grandparents and extended family from our children’s lives”   

“The stunt created world wide interest, I went on to submit evidence along with other campaigners to the Justice 1 Committee, raising amendments through my MSP Sylvia Jackson

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“They were asked to drop the amendments with the promise of compliance from the officers from the then Scottish executive under the Labour Government, They feel they were  given false promises by these untrustworthy politicians that came to nothing”

“How can you ever trust a Politician?”

“Scottish contact orders are not worth the paper they are written on, and contact denial has a devastating effect on  families and clearly not in the best interest of the children”   

“Litigation lasting years with court reporters, curators acting for the children psychologists  and solicitors costing tens of thousands of pounds to the tax payer and also to the fathers and  grandparents that do not get public funding”

“What is the point of having a justice system where the sheriffs and judges give out court orders and do not uphold them? It is a national disgrace”

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“The Family Law Bill was nothing more than a public relations exercise to make the Government look as though they were addressing the problem, they will can tell you that  six years on since their rooftop protest nothing has changed, if anything it has actually got worse”

“On this great day of celebration for St Andrews Day, Dave says shame on the government of Scotland for failing children and families”

“He calls on the people of Scotland to get involved in protests and demonstrations, the system is in dire need of reform and we must take the message to the politicians”

“Family justice in England and Wales is currently under review, we must pressurise our MSP’s to do the same in Scotland, if you would like to join and get involved you can contact him via email to info@realfathersforjustice.org

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